| Try this out (I got it from Cornelius) |
[6.27.06 (Tuesday) 5:57pm] |
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mood |
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 gloomy |
] |
| Your Five Variable Love Profile |
Propensity for Monogamy:
Your propensity for monogamy is low.
You see love as a gift that you should give to many.
It's hard for you to imagine being with one person at at time...
Let alone one person for the rest of your life!
Experience Level:
Your experience level is medium.
You probably have had a couple significant loves.
And you may have even had your heart broken.
But you haven't really dated a wide variety of people.
Dominance:
Your dominance is medium.
You tend to be the one with more power.
You aren't a total control freak in relationships..
But of course you don't mind getting you way!
Cynicism:
Your cynicism is medium.
You'd like to believe in true and everlasting love...
But you've definitely been burned enough to know better.
You're still an optimist, but you also are a realist.
Independence:
Your independence is medium.
In relationships, you need both "me time" and "we time."
You usually find it easy to be part of a couple.
But occasionally you start to feel a little smothered. |
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| How's it going, everyone? |
[6.21.06 (Wednesday) 6:18pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 depressed |
] |
How has it been for everyone? Hope you are doing good.. As for me, I just keep going down.. Like right now, I am stuck in the school lab, working on my Contract Law report.. Shimin and Farlina have left for they each have something on and I am just sitting here, killing time before going to work later.. Speaking of work, I would have to say goodbye to Barnone..
Friday will be my last day working in Barnone.. I am really going to miss everyone there.. I'll miss working on the floor with Shannen, Alice, Isa, Archily, Fish, Zhi Long, Syam and Naresh.. I'll miss fooling around with the bartenders like Max, Sharil, Indra, Yasin, Mimi, Nas, Mahesh, Azreen and Wandy.. And I can't believe I am saying this but I'll miss the Management as well like Marie, Slash, Syah and Shaun.. Oh and not forgetting my cashiers, Lynn, Ruby and Rani..Plus the DJs like Terry, Desley, Raj, Linus and Titus and last but not least the bouncers, Barry, Ravi, Velu, Arthur, Tin Tin and the others whom I do not know their names.. So basically I'm gonna miss my whole Barnone family.. And the band as well.. Nana, Raffy, Abby, Eduardo, Addy, Din and Fairoz..
I won't get to hear them playing my song anymore; Two Princess by Spin Doctor.. I love that song so much, especially Douglas O's version.. Hmmm.. Wonder how Daddy Doug is doing by the way.. I miss him too..
OOOOhhh I really don't want to leave but I have no say in the decision.. What to do! Guess like Azreen said, " Sad for what? Just carry on with your life." and Max said, " You already where we are, you know where to find us."..
This is just not fair.. The thought of leaving the environment, the music, the fun and Syam.. AAAARRRRGHHH.... I am getting so frustrated and emotionally troubled by this.. Well there is nothing else for me to do except to make the best out of the two final days left for me there, which will be tonight and friday night..
You want to know what's the worst about leaving Barnone?? Having to lose my tips that is.. It was the tips afterall that has pulled me along and making me look as if I have a lil more to spend tahn I used to.. And now there is nothing left.. I don't see what is it that I can gain from leaving Barnone.. Yea so I can have the weekends free, but to do what??? I can't even go out on the weekends and so at least with Barnone, although I'm not really going out having fun, I am having fun while working.. Now there will be nothing else like that..
Alright so I know I am going on and on, whining about the fact that I have to leave Barnone.. But I can't help it if I'm feeling so down by this.. Well, I have to pull myself together now.. Have to finish up my report and get going to work.. Till the next time... Or you can also check me up at http://lil-misfit.blogspot.com.
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| After 10 long years Pt 2... |
[6.01.06 (Thursday) 1:27pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 nostalgic |
] |
Would you be with someone you have waited for a whole 10 long years or would you rather be with someone who has waited for you for that same 10 long years?? Because that is just the dilemma that I'm going through now..Just when I thought things are already complicated enough as it, this was what happened yesterday..
I realized through all Hazlami's messages that he might have developed feelings for me so I took the plunge and asked him if he did.. I'm gonna share with you the conversation we had through the smses that we exchanged..
ME: Hey I'm curious..Do you like have feelings for me or something?
Haz: Erm, whta is the answer if it's yes or no? Just curious..
ME: I don't know..I just wanted to know cause it feels like you do..
Haz: What does your heart say?
ME: My heart?? Ermm..I don't know..Why don't you just tell me?
Haz: After a horrendous experience, I finally realise I need someone who is strong, soft at heart, who never gives up, who loves herself, who values life..I took the courage to take the steps upon the path that is set for me..I stumbled upon many, whom I fear would bring terrible fate not just on me but on themselves as well..then destiny brought my path to someone whom I've lost contact for almost 6 years, and when I saw and learnt her from inside, I found the missing puzzle..The answers to many questions..Something called, the Heart..So I stopped, and ponder, is it worth the wait? I answered, yes,it's worth it..
ME: And so your heart has found mine..? This wait in question, how long will it last? This heart may not belong to anyone for it has been broken too many a times..
Haz: My heart has always been lost, maybe broken into pieces, maybe thrown away, but still I kept going, Nisa, you want to know why? Cause I believe Nisa, I believe that somehow, it will come back, it's really hard for me to find it, but you in particular, I don't know, maybe something in you that made me want to try again, I ask of you nothing but courage my dearest Nisa..The courage to believe that things happen for a reason, to believe that someone is out there that would risk even his life, his soul, his everything, for you, to believe in me, that person who would do anything so you won't be hurt anymore, to make you happy as much as he could give, who would make a reason for you to smile once more.. I saw you since we were small Nisa, I want to see that smile again on your face, the one where we were so indulge in childhood dreams and hopes.. A heart can be mended, if you have the courage and reason, Nisa..
ME: It's not you that I have no faith in but instead it's me.. I've been as cold as a stone ever since, not being able to feel.. What worries me is that I might hurt you, an angel..
Haz: Then give me a chance to close my wings around you, and give you my warmth.. I'm sincere in whatever I do, and this is the moment.. You can hurt me, or do whatever means, it doesn't matter Nisa.. As long as you're happy.. I care for your happiness more than me.. Even if I'm sad, I'll smile, and say, "Nisa is happy", and I'll walk away, but still, my wings will be there to protect you from all means of harm.. Nisa, you mean more to me than anything else.. I understand what you're going through Nisa.. Sometimes people can't make it on their own, even I, but I'm sure, absolute, that I can make it with you..
ME: If you really want to be my angel, could you give some time? Cause you know I can't decide now.. Would you still wait and catch my every tears as the wait goes on? Would you?
Haz: Yes I would, Nisa.. I shall wait till the time is right.. I'll give you all the time of my life, for you to decide..
ME: Thank you my dear.. Till den I shall hold your every word close to my heart.. For what you have said has proven to me that a love so pure and sincere does exist..
Haz: It only exists, if you believe Nisa.. And I believe.. That my love for you is far and wide.. And my sincerity is for you..
So that was how it went.. I konw it's not the usual side of me that you've seen but honestly, I did cry last night after everything was said.. But what Hazlami doesn't know that what he feels for me is what I am actually feeling for Alif.. I'm in such a dilemma cause I've known the both of them for 10 years.. We practically grew up together.. How can I let them know how I truly feel, without hurting anyone of them, and most importantly, without getting myself hurt?? What do I do? I could use a little help and wise words from people who might have gone through this before.. I've always wished for my life to be a fairy tale but I wasn't counting on my life to have a sudden change to become such a soap opera.. Help please anyone.. Well, I said just about enough for today.. Will update again soon..
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| After 10 whole long years........ |
[5.31.06 (Wednesday) 10:30am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 confused |
] |
Have you ever felt that you've waited for someone long enough?? Too long for you to even bear??? And that just when you've given up every hope and learnt to move on, it comes back to haunt you??? If you have, perhaps you can help me out here..
See this was what happened yesterday.. After so long, me and Alif (my first crush) were finally in touch again and we went out for a movie yesterday.. We met at SP and rode on his bike (a black KR) and headed down to Jurong Entertainment Centre to watch X-Men The Last Stand.. Had our meal at KFC and we were reminiscing on the times we had in primary school.. We even recalled how he and his group of friends used to pick on me so much.. It was fun actually.... Till..... I started to develop butterflies in my tummy..
Initially, I passed it off as being excited for being able to reunite with an old friend.. In fact an old flame to be precise.. But what I wasn't counting on was for the meeting to be the cause of that old flame being rekindled.. And honestly, the more I try to deny my feelings for him, the worse I felt.. And what's worst was I'm guilty of fantasizing him kissing me.. Hah! Now I feel as if I was 9 again, only that I'm stuck in a woman's body.. What the heck!
And so came the part when Solihin joined us and that's because we didn't know what else to do after the movie.. SO we met IN at Lot 1 CCK and had another meal at Long John Silver's, which by the way was on IN.. Apparently IN's presence helped to ease the tension a little but I was secretly wishing that I could feel at ease around Alif even without IN around.. We stayed out for about an hour and then Alif sent me home.. How I wished the ride home could last forever.. I didn't want to go home just yet but I knew I had to.. I wanted the day to last as long as it could but the sad truth is I know it couldn't.. And so as I thanked him for spending the day with me, I included a hint by saying "We should do this again some time".. The smile that I got in response set me floating as I head up the lift for home..
I don't know what it is about him that made me feel this way.. Afterall it was 10 long years ago when I had a crush on him.. I guess I can blame it on the fact that he was my first crush and so it's probably hard to get over him.. Just like it has been tough for me to get over my first love, first valentine and first kiss.. Ok so now I know I sound like a hopeless romantic and that this is not quite thew side of me that anyone has seen..
Well so I guess it is really complicated huh... This is when I'll need my baby girls to stand by me and advise me... So post in the comments babes.. Till the next time.. Cause Leon is bugging me now to go and have a meal with him.. Haha.. What a Loser! So I gotta go now.. Ciao...
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| 1 down and many more to come |
[5.22.06 (Monday) 10:51am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 groggy |
] |
Hah.. Down with Criminal Procedure project and I'm still left with a WHOLE lot of others.. I think I need to start taking Brand's again..
Haha.. I was TV last night.. For only two seconds and already it's the TALK of the cohort.. I can just imagine if I had actually made it through.. HMMMM... Anyways, thanks alot guys for catching that.. Guess it wasn't that bad huh..
So this was what happened at Barnone on Saturday night:-
It was Vanni's birthday and so she had her celebration at Barnone.. Managed to have her cover charge waived thanks to Raj, the DJ in Barnone, who happens to be her brother-in-law.. What a small world! Yea so Vanni, Radah, Mas, Smitha, Ashwin, Mato and Dominic were there that night.. It was a whole lotta fun but I guess it would have been better if I wasn't working that night and was joining them for the celebration.. Still overall it was fine since I was the one serving them.. At least I was sure that they would be well taken care of.. It was personalised service from me after all.. In addition to that, I had a big group of my ex-colleagues from the Marriott over at Barnone too that night.. They had a farewell party for Carlson.. Gonna miss him alot.. So I guess work on Saturday was pretty much a blast.. And I did get a compliment from my captain, Shannen, after almost two months working there..
Well that's about it for now.. I'm rushing now for my Contract Law oral presentation.. Catch up with y'all in a bit..
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| Burning my ass on Criminal Procedure project |
[5.18.06 (Thursday) 5:38pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 bitchy |
] |
I think I'm gonna drop dead any time soon.. At least I know I'm braindead for sure.. I've yet to start on my report and here I am blogging.. I seriously need to work on my self-discipline and not let myself get distracted easily.. anyways I'm stuck in i-law, with Gene irritating me..
That bugger has got no one else to irritate.. Haha.. And ya me and Vickie are stii conversing in the Minah-Honky style.. Just to lighten up..
So I finally had my lunch date with Mr Ferlin.. Talked to him about how I'm juggling work, school and hockey.. And how my time spent with Qisya is reducing by the day.. Mr J was saying how it's gonna be difficult for me to apply for the bursary programme, pending my results and family income.. I told him I'm working my way to achieve A's this semester and this was what he said to me..
Mr J: Oh woman, it's all big talk..
Me: Nope..I've got it all here..(gesturing to the back of my head)
Mr J: What's the point?? It has to be here..(pointing to the table)
Me: And so I will.. You'll see..
Mr J: I'll give you a 100 dollars for every distinction you score..
Me: It's on, Mr J.. Start counting the amount you have to pay me..
Mr J: (Laughs) At the end of thye semester, you should start counting the amount you have to pay me for every distinction you miss..
Me: Really? I'll prove it then..
And so it went on and on like that.. I'm definitely in on our little wager.. Yea I know I'm superficial.. Haha.. Hey there's nothing wrong in a little motivation ($$$).. Hehe..
All right I have to get back to my report.. Would want to get over and done with it by tomorrow.. At least I can put my mind to ease during the weekends and concentrate on work.. Till the next entry.. Ciao..
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